The dating game
by Catchoo
Summary: Buffy loves Giles but refuses to tell anyone. Expect fluff...
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This story comes to you courtesy of Getjrjt who upped an irresistable little bunny to her Livejournal. You are an evil, evil person and I thank you for it...

Anyway - the prompt: **Buffy loves Giles, but refuses to tell her friends (they all assume it's Angel anyway) who it is - just character descriptions: kind, gentle, etc. A jealous Giles sets out to find out who Buffy loves by gathering all this info from her friends, but doesn't put it together until an exasperated Buffy finally gives in and tells him. With of course a happy B/G ending.**

I'm still working on the happy ending (yes, there _will _be one) and... umm... basically most of the story. Just bear with me and I'll get there in the end. I think.

Ps. For anyone following No retreat, no surrender - no, I haven't abandoned it, but these last months my mum's Alzheimer's has deteriorated rather quickly, forcing me to (reluctantly) focus on things outside Sunnydale. I _will _try to update both that and this one as often as possible, but remember that I'm a slow writer at the best of times...

Okay - on with the bloody story.

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'You could at least pretend to be listening.'

The dry voice made Buffy jump and quickly drag her gaze away from the intriguing way the dark green dress shirt clung to her Watcher's torso.

'Sorry Giles, it was just… I was sorta thinking about something' she acknowledged with an apologetic shrug, not quite daring to meet his eyes.

'Well, unprecedented as that may be maybe we could get back to the X'nor demon at hand?' the Englishman enquired mildly, shooting the preoccupied blonde a part amused, part exasperated glance. The Slayer nodded and obediently looked down at the page he was tapping with his finger.

'Jinkies! Okay, that thing? In serious need of a good moisturizer' she muttered with a slight shudder. Tilting her head she added thoughtfully 'Probably a family sized bag of breath mints as well.'

'Quite' the Watcher agreed with a long-suffering eye roll. 'And then there's of course that small, almost insignificant, detail of it being a homicidal demon from one of the Hell dimensions.'

'Yeah. And that' the still unimpressed Slayer nodded, giving the picture another critical look. 'What does big, blue and scaly do anyway, ugly you to death?'

Giles shook his head in defeat.

'Fine. What you need to know about X'nor demons, the abridged version. Scales, poisonous. Claws, sharp. Needs beheading. Now please go do something that doesn't include annoying your Watcher.'

The mocking glance at the end of the harangue told her he wasn't as irritated as he let on and Buffy smirked as she watched him sit down and, without removing his eyes from his book, reach for, and effortlessly find, a previously forgotten cup of now lukewarm tea. Her grin faded and she started to absently rub her suddenly clammy hands against her short skirt.

'Umm… Giles?'

'Mm?' came the indistinct response.

'I… kinda need to ask you something' she mumbled hesitantly, her eyes not leaving his face.

'Mmhm?'

'Would you mind dating me for a couple of weeks?'

'Of course not, Bu…' She squinted nervously as the Watcher frowned and moved his lips, re-examining the question for clues. 'What?'

'Would you mind dating me for a couple of weeks?' she repeated, looking up at him with a hopeful pout. The tall Brit stared back at her, thoughts of straightjackets and padded walls evident in his face.

'What?' he tried again weakly, hoping the conversation would make more sense the second time around.

'Please, Giles? It would only be for a couple of weeks, and we wouldn't have to go anywhere much, and it wouldn't really be dates anyway because, you know, the whole eew factor, but… would you? Mind, I mean?' Buffy asked, stumbling over the words as she hurriedly rushed through them.

'Oh, of course not, who could say no to such a wonderful proposition?' the Watcher retorted sarcastically. Letting out a frustrated sigh he crossed his arms and glared at her. 'What's this really in aid of, Buffy?' he finally continued in a slightly calmer tone. The Slayer looked down, chewing her lower lip apprehensively.

'It's just… There's this guy, okay.' Giles winced. Wasn't it always? 'I just want to make sure he realizes I'm dating material.'

'And you think I'm the solution?' The Watcher gave her an unconvinced look. 'Do the words "old" and "gross" mean anything to you?'

'But that's just it' Buffy exclaimed, looking at him earnestly. 'This guy's slightly older. Not that he's _old_, he's just… you know… not young. And I thought dating you might make him realize that I'm okay with that.'

Giles sighed again. Ah. Buffy logic.

'Believe me, no male, no matter what age, would find you anything but dating materiel, Buffy' he assured her awkwardly. The Slayer brightened.

'So does that mean _you_ find me dateable, Watcher Guy?'

'I… that is… I… um…' Damn. He'd walked straight into that one. Skilfully removing his glasses he squeezed his eyes shut and pinched the bridge of his nose. 'What about telling me more about this older man, hm?' he deflected impassively. Buffy shot him a long look, reluctant to let the subject go.

'Oh, he's just the sweetest guy _ever_' she finally assented. 'And you don't think of him as being older, because… he kinda isn't, you know? And his eyes are amazing. And he's got this gorgeous body...' she pouted sadly at Giles '…even if he tends to hide it under layers of clothes. And he's got really nice hands. And a killer butt. And he's kind and gentle and _so_ smart and he…' She blushed and gave her Watcher a sheepish look. 'I'm babbling, aren't I?'

'Maybe a little' Giles nodded with a forced smile, trying to ignore the ice-cold lump of jealousy shooting tentacles through his body. Whoever this undeserving old sod was, his Slayer was head over heels for him. The wanker. 'So have you known this man long?' he continued glumly, not sure he really wanted to know the answer.

'I guess. Long enough to know he's the most wonderful man on earth, anyway' Buffy replied with an embarrassed grin. Giles's brow furrowed. A not so old older man. Someone she'd apparently known for quite some time. And who made her squirm uncomfortably when questioned about him. There was something very…

'It's not Spike, is it?' he asked, his tone slightly squeakier than he would have liked. It was the Slayer's turn to roll her eyes.

'Nuh-uh! Buffy and the undead? Totally unmixy things.' The small blonde smirked at the Watcher. 'Don't worry, Giles. This guy has a heartbeat. I've checked. Anyway, will you?'

The nonplussed Englishman gave her a blank look.

'Will I what?'

'Will you go on a date with me tonight?' she asked, her voice elaborately casual. Giles swallowed.

'D-Date?'

'Yup. You know. Boy. Girl. Pretty clothes. Food.' Buffy looked up at him with a much too innocent grin. 'Kissage.'

'I'm familiar with the concept' the Watcher quickly interrupted, not wanting to give his subconscious time to dwell on the prospect of kissing Buffy. Not that it ever needed an incentive to do so... He shook his head and, exhaling deeply, gave in to the inevitable. 'So where am I taking you?' he asked with a resigned glance at the eager blonde.

'You'll do it?' she squealed, launching herself at him in an enthusiastic hug. 'Thanks, Giles. You're just the bestest Watcher ever!' She peeked up at him. 'And don't look like that. It will be fun. I promise.'

'Buffy? Ribs' he wheezed, giving the ceiling a gloomy look. Helping the woman he loved in her pursuits of another man? Oh, yes. Definitely fun. 'And you still haven't revealed the location of tonight's… ah… performance' he continued when the imminent risk of suffocation by overexcited Slayer had been averted.

'I'll make all the arrangements, Watcher Guy' the exhilarated blonde called over her shoulder, already on her way to the door. 'Just get that adorable butt into your Sunday bests and be at my dorm by seven.' She turned around and grinned. 'And if you'd wear the silver hoop I wouldn't hate that' she added encouragingly.

Giles stared after her as she walked out the door, his left hand frozen on its way to his earlobe. Had Buffy just called his butt adorable?


	2. Chapter 2

**I apologize for the chapter being a bit on the short side but Real Life kinda happened. Enjoy what little there is...**

**This fic owes its existence to the evil mind of Gin, ie Getjrjt on Livejournal. Thanks for the plot, and for letting me run with it.**

_An older man whose body his Slayer apparently had had ample time to ogle? Probably one of the college professors then._ Giles grimly eyeballed the yellow Kiss the librarian mug in front of him. _Well, the fact that the berk was in possession of a heartbeat and a nice arse wasn't nearly enough information. Maybe if he was to call Willow to schedule another magic lesson he could…  
_The Englishman's Machiavellian plotting was interrupted by an impatient knock on the door followed by the entrance of two scowling females and a dark-haired male who clearly wanted to be anywhere but there.

'Hello, you're… unexpected,' Giles pointed out, giving them a startled look. 'Shouldn't at least one of you be in class right now?'

Willow fixed him with a dismal thanks-for-reminding-me glare.

'Yes, but Martha Stewart over there is under the impression that her love life takes priority over my Psych 105,' she grumbled.

'Of course it does or you wouldn't be here,' Anya observed with a complacent half shrug. The Wicca shot her a mutinous glower.

'I'm here because you said it was a matter of life and death. Not once did you mention cookery.'

'It _is_ a matter of life and death,' the brunette insisted. 'A girl in my math class said that men only like women who can cook.' She turned to Willow, her expression devoid of all her previous smugness. 'I can't cook, so I need to learn or Xander won't like me any more. Get on your computer so it can teach me.'

'Ah. Right,' Giles cut in, looking nonplussed. 'Isn't that something better taught in a kitchen?' His hands unconsciously reached for his glasses and a handkerchief. '_Someone else's _kitchen' he emphasized hurriedly.

'Apparently the girl handed Anya an URL address as well,' Willow explained, her fingers already flying across the keyboard. 'Hence the need for Computer Gir…' Her eyes grew as she watched the screen. '_Eep_…'

'Oh, good, you've found it.' The ex demon happily grabbed Xander's hand and dragged him over to the wide eyed witch. 'Which one do you prefer?'

Willow looked up at the animated brunette and her glassy eyed boyfriend, and with another heartfelt _eep_ she quickly bolted towards the sanctity of the kitchen. Realizing that this was the chance he'd been looking for the Watcher slowly followed, desperately racking his brain for something to say.

'So. H-How is academic life treating you?' he finally managed with a somewhat feeble smile.

'Um. Academically..?' Willow hazarded, sending the Watcher a puzzled look.

'Yes. Of course. Uh… And dorm life?' he tried.

'Pretty much dormy,' she replied, her eyes narrowing. 'You're beginning to wigging me out here, Giles. Care to tell me what's going on?'

Hunching his shoulders he shoved his hands deep into his pockets. _Not really, no_.

'I-I was talking to Buffy earlier and she said something that… might have led me to believe that… uh…'

'Buffy's got a new boyfriend?' the young witch guessed with an enthusiastic squeal. The Watcher winced.

'Something like that, yes,' he nodded. 'And with the whole Angel debacle I just thought…'

'You want to make sure he's one of the White Hats?' He was treated to an affectionate beam. 'That's so sweet!'

Giles nodded uneasily. _Sweet? Riiight…_

'Quite. So. What can you tell me about this…' _tosser _'…new man then?' he asked with forced indifference. Willow looked thoughtful.

'Not much, really,' she mused. 'I mean, sure, there's been the odd cute guy, although not odd in the odd sense, you know, just… the regular, occasional heeeello cute butt kinda guy… guy… Um.' The redhead brightened. 'But there's Riley, Professor Walsh's TA. Lots of yummy muscles there, definitely Buffy's type.'

The Watcher pursed his lips together. Teacher Assistant? Somehow he'd got the impression that the prat would be older.

'Riley, hm? And who is Professor Walsh?'

'Oh, Professor Walsh is our psych professor, and she's kinda scary, but really cool, and she's got like gazillion degrees, and she's… so not what you want to talk about at the moment…' the Wicca finished, grinning sheepishly.

'Well, it was most… informative' Giles said, his eyes alight with tolerant amusement. Willow stuck her tongue out at him with a mock glare. 'Buffy might have made it sound like this…' _tosser_ '…uh… person was slightly older though?'

The young witch saw her chance at retaliation.

'She did say her history professor was kinda cute' she offered innocently, giving the Watcher a furtive glance. 'She said he reminded her of you.'

Giles blinked.


End file.
